Listen, and then speak. Read and then write.

Witty homeless guy

-What are you doing? What on earth are you doing?

-What do you mean?

-What is that cloth cap there for?

-Well, it's for the money

-Money? What money? What are you talking about? What are you doing?

-Well, I'm busking, ain't I?

-Busking? Busking? What busking? Busking what?

-Well, I play the mouth organ and people give me money.

- They give you money? People give you money? For playing the mouth organ like that? They actually give you money? They pay you?

-Well, some of them do. There's no harm in that.

-No harm in that? ''No harm in that,'' he says. You sit there sprawled against a paving stone, blowing through spittle, and people actually pay you? It's unbelievable.

-Oh, look, if you don't like it, you don't have to listen or give me anything, you know.

-Not like it? How could I like it? It's the most pathetic noise I've ever heard. And people give you money for it?

-Well, it's kindness as well, isn't it? They're just being kind.

-Just being kind? Just being kind? What do you mean, just being kind? If they were just being kind, they'd put a bullet through your head, wouldn't they? That's what I'd call being kind. Put you out of your misery.

-You're very insulting, you know.

- Yes, I know. Of course I'm insulting. I'm very insulting indeed. Especially to smelly, squalid poor people who can't play the harmonica properly.

- We share the same planet. Why can't you let me be?

- Share the same planet? Have you gone mad? Share the same planet? What are you talking about? ----The planet I inhabit is full of fast cars, restaurants, holidays in Barbados and fine wines. Your planet is full of bottles of meths, howling harmonicas and grimy doss houses. It's not the same planet at all. How dare you suggest otherwise?

-Well, you may not think it's the same planet, but it is. You couldn't have one without the other.
-Couldn't have one without the other? What are you talking about? -Are you saying I depend upon you?

-Of course you do. All your wealth is entirely propped up on a rotting hulk of my poverty. And one day, it will give way and you'll come crashing down with it.

- Rotting hulk? Rotting hulk? Have you gone mad? Rotting hulk! Is this communist talk? Are you a communist? Do you want me to call a policeman?

- It's not a crime to be a communist. Anyway, I'm not.

- Not a crime to be a communist? Of course it's a crime to be a communist. This is 1 989. Communists are the enemies of democracy. They should be locked away.

-Well, what's so good about democracy?

-What's so good about democracy? What's so good about democracy, ladies and gentlemen? Democracy is freedom of thought and belief and speech. That's what's so good about it, you degraded heap of smelliness. Get out of my way before I set fire to you. Get yourself a job, clean yourself up. It's demeaning to have the harmonica played at one by a heap of litter.

-Here, hold on, hold on.

-Hold on? Hold on? What do you mean, hold on?

-You ever seen a television programme called On The Streets with Bibby?

-On The Streets with Bibby? On The Streets with Bibby? Oh. Oh, you mean the one with hidden cameras?

-That's the one, yeah.

-Oh! Oh, yeah. You're not Bibby Peavis, are you? (MAN LAUGHING) Oh, are you really Bibby Peavis?

-No. But I might have been.

-Money? What money? What are you talking about? What are you doing? Well, I'm busking, ain't I? Busking? Busking? What busking? Busking what Well, I play the mouth organ and people give me money.
They give you money? People give you money? For playing the mouth organ like that? They actually give you money? They pay you? Well, some of them do.
There's no harm in that.
No harm in that? ''No harm in that,'' he says.
You sit there sprawled against a paving stone, blowing through spittle, and people actually pay you? It's unbelievable.
Oh, look, if you don't like it, you don't have to listen or give me anything, you know.
Not like it? How could I like it? It's the most pathetic noise I've ever heard.
And people give you money for it? Well, it's kindness as well, isn't it? They're just being kind.
Just being kind? Just being kind? What do you mean, just being kind? If they were just being kind, they'd put a bullet through your head, wouldn't they? That's what I'd call being kind.
Put you out of your misery.
You're very insulting, you know.
Yes, I know.
Of course I'm insulting.
I'm very insulting indeed.
Especially to smelly, squalid poor people who can't play the harmonica properly.
We share the same planet.
Why can't you let me be? Share the same planet? Have you gone mad? Share the same planet? What are you talking about? The planet I inhabit is full of fast cars, restaurants, holidays in Barbados and fine wines.
Your planet is full of bottles of meths, howling harmonicas and grimy doss houses.
It's not the same planet at all.
How dare you suggest otherwise? Well, you may not think it's the same planet, but it is.
You couldn't have one without the other.
Couldn't have one without the other? What are you talking about? -Are you saying I depend upon you? -Of course you do.
All your wealth is entirely propped up on a rotting hulk of my poverty.
And one day, it will give way and you'll come crashing down with it.
Rotting hulk? Rotting hulk? Have you gone mad? Rotting hulk! Is this communist talk? Are you a communist? Do you want me to call a policeman? It's not a crime to be a communist.
Anyway, I'm not.
Not a crime to be a communist? Of course it's a crime to be a communist.
This is 1 989.
Communists are the enemies of democracy.
They should be locked away.
-Well, what's so good about democracy? -What's so good about democracy? What's so good about democracy, ladies and gentlemen? Democracy is freedom of thought and belief and speech.
That's what's so good about it, you degraded heap of smelliness.
Get out of my way before I set fire to you.
Get yourself a job, clean yourself up.
It's demeaning to have the harmonica played at one by a heap of litter.
Here, hold on, hold on.
Hold on? Hold on? What do you mean, hold on? You ever seen a television programme called On The Streets with Bibby? On The Streets with Bibby? On The Streets with Bibby? Oh.
Oh, you mean the one with hidden cameras? -That's the one, yeah.
-Oh! Oh, yeah.
You're not Bibby Peavis, are you? (MAN LAUGHING) Oh, are you really Bibby Peavis? No.
But I might have been.

Bob and the deli guy

D.Guy: Wait a second, you've just got a turkey yesterday!

Bob: Yep

D.Guy:Turkey number two, huh? Messed up the first one?

Bob: No, it's a long story.

D.Guy: Not so easy to just step into the kitchen, is it?

Bob: No, actually I'm a professional cook.

D.Guy. Yeah, you and me both, right? Okay. Don't mess this one up!

Bob: I didn't

D.Guy:NEXT!

Bob: Didn't mess it up!

____________________________________________

Bob: Hi, I need two turkeys, please

D.Guy: Oh, you again

Bob: yeah.

D.Guy: err... Look I think I know what's going on here, and... I am flattered, but I'm in a relationship

Bob: WHAT?Oh, no, no. I'm not trying to...

D.Guy: Hey, hey, listen daddy, don't you let one rejection keep you from going out there, you seem great.

Bob: Okay, thanks

D.Guy: There is a whole group of guys, out there who don't care what guys look like.

Bob: err, can I just get my turkey please?

D.Guy: You know, I've got a friend, he is into sloppy bears.

Bob: What's a sloppy bear?

D.Guy: You know, you've got the muffin top, you've got food on your shirt.

Bob: God I do

D.Guy: Let me set you up. I tell you what I'm gonna write the number on the receipt. you take it from here...

Bob: No no no! I think you have the wrong idea, I'm not Interested in a

D.Guy: Yeah, I know, you are not interested

Bob: In a relationship

D.Guy: that's cool here's the number, I'll talk to you later... Get out of here!
___________________________________________________-

D:guy:Hey you again, huh?

Bob: Hey, you again... and me... yeah... er... I just... I came for a...

D:guy: I suppose you want anoter "turkey"

Bob: Yes, that's exactly what I want. A turkey I didn't come for anything else

D:guy: Okay, fine! you wore me down! Dammit!Things are not going great with Tony. (they) haven't been going great with Tony for a long time, you know. Tony is hot, but maybe it's time for me to just settle.

Bob: No,no. Look at me. I'm nothing. You love Tony. Stay with Tony.

D:guy: I'm so sick of Tony and his dancing!

Bob: No, no. I don't know Tony but I assume it's great.

D:guy: it's not great with Tony.

Bob: You should definitely stay with Tony.

D:guy: nonono. YO! I'm taking my break!!! Oh my god, we are doing this!

Bob: No, we are not.

D:guy: Hey, what do you wanna do?

Bob: Nothing

D:guy: Wanna go to the beach?

Bob: Maybe. Wait, I'm straigh, I mean... I am mostly straight... you should...

D:guy: let's grab a coffee

Bob: call tony

D:guy:No, lets' just have sex! Oh my god this feels so great!!!

Bob:I should just... sorry. I gotta go, cook this.... Also I'm married... But if I wasn't... Who am I kidding? You are out of my league. It would never work.

D:guy:What are you talking about?

Bob: I really gotta go...

D:guy: I'M GONNA SEE YOU TOMORROW!

Bob: Probably not! I'll call you!

Threw it on the ground

I was walkin' through the city streets

And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink

"Run faster, jump higher"

Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground

You must think I'm a joke

I ain't gonna be part of your system

Man! Pump that garbage in another man's veins

I go to my favorite hot dog stand

And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free"

I said, "Man! What do I look like? A charity case?"

I took it and threw it on the ground!

I don't need your handouts!

I'm an adult!

Please!

You can't buy me hot dog, man!

At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend

She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad

Man, this ain't my dad!

This is a cell phone!

I threw it on the ground!

What, you think I'm stupid?

I'm not a part of your system

My dad's not a phone!

DUH!

Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party

Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground!

I threw the rest of the cake, too!

Welcome to the real world, jackass!

So many things to throw on the ground

Like this, and this, and that, and even this

I'm an ADULT!

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph

GROUND!

Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!

Then the two phonies got up

Turned out they had a taser

And they tased me in the butthole

Fell to the ground

The phonies didn't let up

Tasin' on my butthole over and over

I was screamin' and squirmin'

My butthole was on fire

The moral of the story is

You can't trust the system

Man!

The raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—

Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—

This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—

Darkness there and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—

’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

(...)“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted—nevermore!

Frito the Demon

Long ago in hell a demon did dwell
And his name was non other than Frito
For a thousand years he tortured the fears
Of the poor souls that to hell go

"This sucks..."

So bored became this demon a plan did hatch
He could scape from hell but there is one catch
There was one chance, although very slim
An angel would have to trade places with him.

That's all frito needed, was some hope
With the souls of the damned he fashioned a rope
he cast the rope to the heaven's so high.
He climbed very quickly, our persistent little guy.

When he got to the top an Angel stood guard
tricking him wasn't so hard

"I need that for my collection"

And in the end Frito, got to leave that hell
It's comforting to know everything worked out... So well

Money laundering

Hey, fellow English lovers!
Today I bring you a quick tutorial on how to launder your (Il)legal extra cash.

Let the master explain it to you!

Saul: You know you need to launder your money, right?.. Do you understand the basics of it? Placement, layering, integration?

Pinkman: I ain't(am not) buying no damn nail salon, so just forget it.

Saul:Well you want to stay out of jail don't you? I mean, you want to keep your money AND your freedom? Because I got three little letters for you: IRS. If they can get Capone, they can get you.
Hey, look. Here's you, right? Pink, Pinkman. Get it? Okay, here's your cash. You are out on the town. Yeah, you're partying hearty, and knocking boots with the cheeky babes. Oh, who's this? It's the tax man. And he's looking at you. Now, what does he see? He sees a young fellow with a big fancy house, unlimited cash supply and NO job. Now, what is the conclusion the tax man makes?

Pinkman: I'm a drug dealer.

Saul: WRONG. Million times worse. You are a tax cheat. What do they do? They take... Every penny... and you go in the can for felony tax evasion. AUCH! What was your mistake? You didn't launder your money. Now, you give me your money, okay? That's called placement. Hand me that little thing... BIN. This is the nail salon right? I take your dirty money and I slip it into the salon's nice clean cash flow. That is called layering. Final step, INTEGRATION, The revenues of the salon goto the owner, that's you. Your filthy drug money has been transformed... Into nice clean... Taxable income. Brought to you by a savvy investment in a thriving bussiness

Pinkman: So you want me to buy this place so I can pay taxes. I'm a criminal, yo.

Saul: Yeah, and i f you want to stay a criminal and not become, say, a convict... Then maybe you should grow up and listen to your lawyer...

After watching:

What is money laundering?
What are the 3 steps in the laundering process?
What do you think about Pinkman's attitude?

4 Chords song

Hey!!!
Here we have a very fun and interesting song. It consists of several songs that can be sung by playing the same 4 chords. How many do you know?

My life is brilliant, my love is pure
I saw an angel, of that I'm sure
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt can you hear them cryin'?
Can you practice what you preach?
Would you turn the other cheek?
Forever young, I wanna be forever young
I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Lipstick stains
On the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
And can you feel the love tonight?
Nobody wants to see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got
Country Roads, take me home
To the place I belong
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-paparazzi
Oh I can't live
With or without you
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
And she will be loved
Yeah she will be lo-
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
No woman, no cry
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
I come from a land down under
Red, white and blue
The funny things you do
America, America oh this is you
They say that Taylor was a good girl
Never want to be late, complain
Express ideas in her brain
I need some love like I never needed love before
(Wanna make love to your baby)
Take on me (When I come around)
Take me on (When I come around)
I'll be gone, in a day or two
Save tonight (Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you)
And fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow (There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do)
Tomorrow I'll be gone (If I were a boy)
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces (I think I would understand)
Can't deny, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
In my head, I see you all over me
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy
In my head
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
What if God was one of Us?
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody
I know she's playing with me
Well that's ok cause I got no self esteem
With a thousand lies
And a good disguise
Hit 'em right between the eyes
Hit 'em right between the eyes
You're so beautiful, so damn beautiful
Too late to apologize
Too late
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
It's my life, it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read my poker face
Come on Barbie, let's go party
How long, how long will I slide
Separate my
Double rainbow all the way across the sky
Yeah, yeah, so intense
Enjoy yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted
Time to say goodbye
Veduto vissuto con te
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
I'm more than a bird I'm more than a plane
I'm a birdplane, I'm a birdplane
A motherfucking birdplane
Doesn't that sound familiar
Doesn't that hit too close to home
Doesn't that make you shiver
The way that things have gone
And doesn't that seem peculiar
Cause everyone wants a little more
And something I do remember
To never go this far
That's all it takes to be a star

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